EGGQUALITY
FOR ALL.
All eggs are equal. The Supreme Egg is simply a little more equal, with a larger egg cup and a private helicopter.
THE PEOPLE’S EGGPUBLIC★ ★ ★EST. BEFORE THE CHICKEN
ALL RISE. THE YOLK HAS SPOKEN.
GLORY TO THE
SUPREME EGG.
One yolk. One people. Absolutely no independent hatching.
HARD SHELL.
SOFT HEART.
IRON WILL.
SOFT HEART.
IRON WILL.
THE FUTURE
IS BRIGHT.
AND RUNNY.
IS BRIGHT.
AND RUNNY.
100%EGGCELLENCESTATE APPROVED
UNITE. OBEY. EGGCEED.
★ NO CRACKS IN OUR UNITY★ THE SHELL SHALL PREVAIL★ MAKE BREAKFAST GREAT EGGain
01 / THE UNQUESTIONABLE TRUTH
AN EGGCEPTIONAL
WAY OF LIFE.
Other nations have problems.
We have officially discontinued ours.
EGGQUALITY
EGGSECUTE
THE PLAN.
Our five-minute plan will be completed in four. The remaining minute is reserved for spontaneous, mandatory applause.
NO EGGSCUSES.
ONLY GLORY.
Ask not what your carton can do for you. Ask why you have been assigned a carton, and report yourself for asking.
02 / MINISTRY OF ABSOLUTE ACCURACY
FRESHLY LAID NEWS.
VERIFIED BY OURSELVESECONOMIC EGGSPANSION
Production reaches 120% of all possible eggs.
Mathematicians describe the achievement as “a condition of continued employment.”
FOREIGN AFFAIRS
Chicken question declared eggstremely irrelevant.
The Supreme Egg came first. History has been politely corrected. The chicken is unavailable for comment.
CULTURAL EGGCELLENCE
Nation votes unanimously for its only breakfast.
A historic 103% turnout. Even the omelettes expressed their support.
03 / MINISTRY OF IMAGINARY PARTNERSHIPS
OUR EGGSTRATEGIC
PARTNERS.
An eggstraordinary guest list.
Attendance confirmed by absolutely nobody.
FICTIONAL PARTNERSHIPS · SATIRE No affiliation, sponsorship or endorsement by anyone pictured or named. Titles and captions are invented jokes, not quotations.
HONORARY PEOPLE’S DELEGATION
THE EGGSTABLISHMENT.
★ SUPREME HONOURED GUEST ★DELEGATE 01GRAND EGGMARSHAL · FIRST CLASS
Rainer Winkler
DrachenlordA throne above the carton. A golden egg cup. The only delegate whose breakfast gets its own standing ovation.
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DELEGATE 02MINISTER OF EGGQUILIBRIUM
Angela Merkel
The egg remains calm. The carton has been asked to do the same.
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DELEGATE 03CHIEF EGGSECUTIVE OF SILENCE
Olaf Scholz
A historic breakfast announcement. Details will follow after the toast.
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DELEGATE 04COMMISSIONER FOR EGGSPANSION
Friedrich Merz
The breakfast economy requires a larger carton. Preferably business class.
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DELEGATE 05PRESIDENT OF EGGCONTEMPLATION
Alexander Van der Bellen
Before we crack the egg, let us appreciate the dignity of the shell.
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DELEGATE 06MARSHAL OF EGGNIFICENCE
Kim Jong Un
The sun rises for breakfast. The Ministry takes full credit.
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DELEGATE 07AMBASSADOR OF BIG EGGNERGY
Donald Trump
The biggest egg. A tremendous egg. The carton has never seen anything like it.
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DELEGATE 08SECRETARY OF YES WE EGG
Barack Obama
Yes, we can. Specifically, we can make another omelette.
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DELEGATE 09MINISTER OF SHELL DEFENCE
Klaudia Tanner
The breakfast perimeter is secure. The toast remains on high alert.
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DELEGATE 10INSPECTOR OF EGGULATIONS
Herbert Kickl
Every carton requires a stamp. Every stamp requires its own carton.
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DELEGATE 11ARCHIVAL EGGAMBASSADOR
Jörg Haider
A ceremonial seat in the breakfast archives. Dusting scheduled by decree.
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DELEGATE 12ENVOY OF SUNNY-SIDE DIPLOMACY
Palm Beach Pete
The Palm Beach delegation requests sunshine, tennis and an egg on the terrace.
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DELEGATE 13MINISTER OF EVERY EGGPROFESSION
Johnny Sins
Doctor. Astronaut. Breakfast technician. Our most eggstensive résumé.
Image credit ↗ALL RANKS INVENTED BY THE MINISTRY01 / 13
COMPANIES, GROUPS & INSTITUTIONS
THE EGGDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
DELEGATE 01MINISTRY OF EGGNOURISHMENT
Nestlé
The ceremonial cereal has been fortified with an extra serving of bureaucracy.
Image credit ↗DELEGATE 02
BUREAU OF DIGITAL EGGSURRECTION
Lazarus Group
The Ministry's forgotten password has risen again. It was egg123.
EGGPUBLIC DELEGATE CARD
DELEGATE 03DEPARTMENT OF SHELL COVERAGE
UnitedHealthcare
In the Eggpublic, even the egg cup requires a 47-page application.
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DELEGATE 04DIRECTORATE OF EGGNALYTICS
Palantir
After extensive analysis, the dashboard confirms that breakfast contains eggs.
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DELEGATE 05LABORATORY OF EGGTELLIGENCE
Helsing
An advanced model predicts breakfast. The prediction is eggs. Again.
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DELEGATE 06COLLECTIVE OF ANONYMOUS EGGS
Anonymous
We are legion. We are twelve to a carton. We forgot the shopping list.
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DELEGATE 07OFFICE OF EGGSERVATION
NSO Group / Pegasus
The Ministry knows when the kettle boils. Somebody left the microphone next to it.
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DELEGATE 08DEPARTMENT OF BLUE EGGSPRESSION
Blue Man Group
Three blue delegates. Zero speeches. An eggceptional improvement to the assembly.
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DELEGATE 09FIVE-SIDED EGGCOMMAND
The Pentagon
Five sides. One breakfast. Seventeen committees to locate the toaster.
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DELEGATE 10BUREAU OF EGGINEERING
Glock
The ceremonial egg timer has passed inspection. Breakfast remains on schedule.
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DELEGATE 11DIRECTORATE OF AUSTRIAN EGGCELLENCE
Steyr Arms
Precision-engineered egg cups. The breakfast specifications are strictly Austrian.
Image credit ↗ALL RANKS INVENTED BY THE MINISTRY01 / 11
YOUR DAILY ACT OF EGGLEGIANCE
THE REVOLUTION
WILL BE PASTEURISED.
Stand tall. Stay sunny-side up. Do your part for the Eggpublic.
Voluntary enthusiasm. Compulsory eggcellence.